Wine at the Jailhouse

Well, it had been a while since I had had a drink and so I decided to treat myself to a night out. Go to the 'Big Free Christmas College Party' at the Jailhouse.
Never been to the Jailhouse before.
I was quite shocked how old I felt. It was like they were all about five years my junior instead of in the year below me.
I was also quite shocked that they didn't sell wine at the jailhouse ? I frankly don't really get that? Is it like, too uncool to serve the youngsters? Not really understanding. But never ask for it. You get laughed at by the bar staff. They also seem kind of bemused when you specify what kind of gin you want in your gin and tonic.
Such a shame Bombay Sapphire isn't actually blue.
Such a shame Bombay Sapphire doesn't actually taste nice.
But that's what I drank for the evening. Apart from when I went to the Barrels. Where they sell wine but they don't sell Bombay Sapphire . . . The barmaid reeled off a list of different gins but seemed pleased when I told her to get "whatever".
My god, what was with that weird bird/alarm noise around the Manhattans area? Driving me crazy. Oh and Manhattans was dead. Like one and a half people playing pool and that was it. I said hi to the barman with the ponytail who we always see when we go in there and he just sort of looked at me blankly.
They seriously need to get a lock on the door of the cubicle in the toilets there.
On the way to the Barrels I saw the wine bar across the road. I was totally tempted to go in but it looked pretty empty.
I had a strange time last night actually. I wasn't bored at all and I wasn't completely drunk. And I spoke more than two words to only two people that night. I don't know if it was worth going out or not? It was strange.
I adore the one bus driver; he's just hilarious. Trying to overtake a four-by-four with a trailer on the road by Pengethley when I was the only one on the bus was funny. Oh and previous to that Cherry's friend came over and we were talking, I've forgotten her name completely because my memory is so extraordinarily excellent and I was surprised she knew mine. She was so drunk and very nice. I had no idea where she got off because it was so dark outside. She made my night anyway.

Today was a strange day, not quite as strangely depressing as yesterday, but still strange. And very long. It went on for several weeks. My prints were hung up on the staircase and they look good until you get close to them. Nobody got within ten feet of them anyway - they weren't exactly in the prime position for viewing I must say.
I didn't finish the story for Johnathon for the train journey to Manchester, sorry about that John!

Why is that strange Peta game about sabotaging Burberry being advertised at the side of my page? Why just Burberry?
I'm smiling to myself about Plaitford screaming at Jade down the corridor at college and Sonny being all like "uh, can we have less noise please?" after about like ten minutes of her screaming abuse. Some funny shit right there.

Well, I think my blanket has warmed up by now and I'm going to go and enjoy it's company so I shall bid you bonne nuit.

love

Happiness, Sewing, Sabotage and Coney

Francesco Scognamiglio A/W 08-09

My god.
Today.
If you have never felt depression before you will not understand.
It’s like this weight just above your heart that makes you want to die.
“Sweet mother of Mary Magdalene! How did you survive the day?” I hear you scream in worried anticipation, well!

First of all I tried to do work – I cut out paper and tried to finish a ‘dress’ I started to create seventeen decades ago and when my body simply refused to co-operate I tried to create something new.
Word of advice: Don’t try to make clothes out of nylon when you feel like an extra on the original ‘Dawn of the Dead’. It just doesn’t work.
Oh my god! And that damned jumper I was wearing (having been shrunk in wash by previous owner seeing as it was a Medium and yet moulded itself to the marrow of my bones) it was so uncomfortable and would not stay tucked in.
I apologize if I flashed any builders’ bee-hind today.
I need to stop biting my nails. I used to have will-power! What happened!!

Anyway, when I returned from textiles, with nothing to show from the half an hour I spent in there, we decided to play a little trick. And I must underline the fact that we weren’t being malicious and we weren’t trying to hurt Brady. Physically or mentally.
We sabotaged Jade’s handbag and coat.
I love how she laughed when she saw Su had sewn her bag together but when she saw I’d sewn one sleeve shut she skepped out to the max!
Anyway, I had returned from a lonesome cigarette break so I was calm and collected and dealt with the situation. And the damage to the bag and the sleeve wasn’t even noticeable. Jade will not have to buy a new coat. It’s okay.
Anyway, I would like to apologize on the behalf of Su and I. It wasn’t funny and I think we have all learnt a valuable lesson from it.
And Jade, I hope the cigarette was wonderful.

SO I was way depressed – even The Professor mentioned it, but I won’t go into too much dett-ale about that.
I left at five past two to get the half two bus. O em jee how many people want to stare at you just because you have a chain around your neck? I can understand old ladies who get confused with the whole ponytail + necklace + pointed shoes + hand-held bag = female, but modern people?
It’s a good thing that I’m into exhibitionism in a big way.

Oh yeah! Anyway, I got to Ross and headed straight for YMCA – the coney fur jacket that was to relieve all of my problems wasn’t going to be there – somebody would’ve bought it the second I left the shop the other day.
It was still there. Can you believe??
Ha, right at the back of the shop there was loads of like fake branded stuff like bags and matching belts and shoes all be-plastered with “BuRBERRYS” or “LouIS VuITTON” or “DIOR” or “CHANEL” and I was looking at them thinking “Wow, the person that donated these was way modest.”
Then this woman like appears as I’m looking at a pile of hideous brown fake Louis Vuitton logo purses and is like “That one’s fake!” and I was like “How can you tell?” just testing her, like, and she laughed and was like “you can tell by blah blah – I donated them all you know.” and I was like “…yah. How generous of you to donate them.”
Then she was like “I have a leather jacket that would suit you!” and she goes over and picks up this jacket and I’m like “oh. Yes.” And she’s stood there waiting for me to try it on. As soon as she went away I just hung it back up again and tried the fur coat on.

I liked it and bought it. And it’s now hiding upstairs away from the family with the buckets of red paint and profiteroles ready to chuck on it while screaming “FuR IS MuRDER! MuRDDDDEERRRR!!”

I love how I can go on and on about complete shit on these notes. At least you have the choice of reading it or not on here whereas in real life you can’t help but hear me drone.

So yeah, I’m tired and if you want to buy some Salvatore Ferragamo shoes I’m selling, please click here:
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&item=200278022292

OKAY I’m going!
Have a good one peherple

x

Manc, Fag and Ties

Yey! Manchester!

Maison Martin Margiela S/S 09

Well, i'd well like to spend more time in Manc. That's more than the ONE AND A HALF HOuRS WE SPENT THERE after a FOuR HOuR JOuRNEY THERE! And then A FOuR HOuR JOuRNEY BACK!
Seriously speaking now; I was actually thinking of suicide. The tragic thing is: I'm not even joking.
I ephing hate busses at the best of times.
And so I have made a pact: If the bus journey is longer than the time we spend at the place we're travelling to I'm NOT going.

It was tres though.
I totally adore the Manc Hilton.
Oh em jee and in the fair the guy with the moheek! He was totally tres. And OH MY GHOD that guy for the university of... Falmouth(?) was totally coming onto me. In a very monotonous voice kinda way.
He stood about an eigth of a millimetre from my face and OMG i well just got a whiff of his cologne... I love scent memories!
But he was cool. And he gave me a bag. I love how as soon as a human male specimen stranger starts talking to me I either go bright red or I become THE campest person on this solar system. I'm afraid it was much more the latter this time. God I sounded annoying.
I love how at the fair when someone stops you to invite you to look at their shit you have to like barge past them to get away.
Like we were just strolling past this woman and she's like to Lucy "Costume or fashion?" and Lucy was like "I.." and the woman was rushing away to get a pannflitt and then was like "Talk to the woman over there!" and Lucy just like turned around and walked away - it was totally funny.
It's so annoying though!
And you end up asking stupid things that you already know what the answer is like "So... is your course.. good, then?" and the representative isn't exactly going to say "Actually the projects are crepe, the people are boring, the night life is expensive and the accomodation is shack." are they?
But yeah, when you stopped speaking to one of them it just trailed off and it was just like "Yes. I shall... look it up.." and they were like "yes." And just stood in your way looking at you for the next ten and a half minutes.
Yeah.
I'd like to explore manc more. It looked pretty swell.

Ha, today was totally fun.
Mandolin was going to implode at any second I swear. We were trying to get her to crave a cigarette and we (we being Suzanne) were good. Mando was totally like doing the hand actions of holding a cigarette by the end.
LOL! hands!
"Are you going to film us Mandy?"
"No! I'm just going to film your hands."
God she's classico.
"Tomorrow you need to do research" "Fag." "um... and on.. Thursday you... need.. um.."

Oh it was a joyous and fun day INDEED.
*looks at title*
Oh my god!
And when I left college I went to Marfa Trust and then into town and Red Cross/Ambulance Aid/whatevs was just about to shut. Anyway - like a totally polite person I barge in and start looking at the ties (I collect them you know!)
I walked out about ten minutes later with 27 ties. AKA all of the ties on display.
Reason being half of them were of Major Makers (liking the alliteration there) including Lacroix, Ferre, Azzaro and Dior. But when I got home I realised that biatch behind the counter didn't give me all of them! What happened to the Mulberry and the Libertys?!
I'm gonna march back in there tomorrow and slam my fists on the counter I tell you!
I'm sorta thinking I should have gone with my first instint and just bought the ones I wanted instead of the entire lot... OH WELL

Well, better stop typing and start posten!

TARTA!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Diets, Lorries and Wigs

Well, my diet is going well.
I started back on my uber-diet the other day.
For no apparent reason.
I think i'm imagining the fact that I feel better "in myself".. i'm just eating less!
I haven't slipped up once. Well, once. That tiny square centimetre of cake that was free in the cafe in Maylords.
Ha, we were major pikie. Walk in + Grab handful of cake = Walk out
It was good cake.

This new camera of mine is totally cool seeing as it takes like a thousand pictures in one second, but it doesn't take as good-a picture as The Brick. Oh well! It records a basic image of what I want - it's cool!

Methinks Cherry was a bit freeked when I told her I had several books based on the subject of Etiquette on the bus home today.. They're interesting! Some tips for the rugged:
- A gentleman always walks on the side of the pavement closest to the road when walking with a lady but it is seen tactless for either to insist on this position
- A lady is expected not to reply if a gentleman greets her first, a gentleman shall wait for the lady to greet him
- Always remove gloves when shaking hands with a person, unless your hands are manked to the max.
And it goes on.

*looks at title*
Oh yes!

Well, let's just say, my sister and I had an experience while on the way home yesterday.
There's this like major junction thing going the back way (the Deliverance way) home and we were behind this police car (we were thanking beejeezuss that he was in front by the time the journey was over) and Raven was like "Is there anything coming your way?" I was like "No." She was like *pulls out* I was like "There's a lorry.."
Coming her way was a twenty five hundred wheeler lorry.
The evening sun was beginning to pierce the windshield, a slight gust of autumn air caught freshly fallen leaves that stirred like a disturbed school of golden fish. The road was dry indigo with amber streaks of dirt from a long passed tractor.
The lorry managed to swerve slightly as Raven yelped and hesitated for a second, but then we were back on the right side of the road going in the right direction and it was fine.
All fine.
Raven was a tad panicky I think.
I was very surprised at how little I reacted. My impending doom didn't disturb me in the slightest. I think the baby pink faux-fur seat covers and matching dice disturbed me more actually.

I think that's about it for now, my log.
I seriously should get around to posting entries when something actually happens..

TA!

Oh i forgot the wigs part!
Raven is going out to like the last viewing of Mamma Mia or something. I offered her Andro's platinum wig, but apparently it "isn't made for humans". Oh well. I don't think Agnetha's hair was that curly anyway.

God, because my letter "u" is broken on my laptop keyboard I have to keep copying and pasting my "u"s and it is so annoying (yes, every u in this entry has been CnPed) And now at college when using the computers I keep pressing ctrl + v to cnp the u... God it's annoy!

LOVE

The pass, the cup, four pence and some gravel

I'm totally finding getting up in the morning a breeze just lately. That'll probably all completely end now we're coming to the holidays. My body clock will reset for like one in the afternoon or something.

Usually i'm really looking forward to the summer holidays, but i'm really not this year.. i'll miss everyone! And for three months! for god sake. No doubt we'll go out and stuff, but three months!!

My god, i'm going to be bored I can see it now.

I suppose I will just get on with that dear old project they've set us for the holidays. One of those let's-not-be-too-inventive-it-might-give-them-inspiration projects.

But why complain! I'll make it fun. I like challenges.

I got the results of my assessment today (is that how you spell assessment? ... Yes? Good.) and I got the predicted pass grade. I was sooo uninspired for this past project. When you're given three weeks to do work and on none of those days you get one of those "Oh my god, that's an amazing idea!" feelings - that's a bad sign for me.

I always want to do something spectacularly original but it can be difficult. And I can be such a perfectionist. And at the advent of the summer holidays I wasn't exactly scouting the library for inspiration. Plus, my college computer is still blocked for reasons Not To Be Mentioned, so I couldn't find much inspiration there.

The part I really found challenging was the book cover part. My book was Britain Under The Romans. It was the one out of the choices that looked the most agreeable to me. So I went to work designing things for Britain and Rome, like togas made out of Union Jacks, it's all going well and then you realise that you have completely missed out the actual main part of the brief - the book cover.

Oh god I found it difficult. Difficult to have such a major lack of inspiration.

ANYWAY, my day! How did it go?

Well, I started it with a green sobranie and talking to Jade (who suddenly left in favour of the company of the ICT room) then Amy and Laurence and we talked of holidays and parents and the bank giving us money.

Then headed upstairs, Davey(female) was sat talking to Sonny, I bad them hello and went to look at an awful book on fashion illustration.

All the desks had been tidied! It was so weird. Everything was uncluttered. God knows what they did with all that gravel Su left on her desk haaaa. The only random things left on tables was around Su's place where *laughing now* she had superglued a mug, a pair of two penny pieces and four pieces of gravel to the table. Oh god that's funny. And it's so addictive to keep trying to get them off! While Jade kept pulling at the paint stained mug, I was absent-mindedly jabbing biros at the miniature stack of two pennies.

Lucy was telling me all about going to see the big BJ (Bon Jovi..) yesterday! And how wonderful a large boned lady in front of her wearing a yellow t-shirt was. She had many pictures also! Of Jon (Or Bon as Lu's dad calls him) wearing a pair of jeans and a leather waistcoat. Ha, she showed me a video apparently of Living On a Prayer but it was basically just screaming and singing along - god it looked fun. Good old Bon.

Omg I can't believe that t-shirt she got cost thirty quids! How ridic!

Bon must be making sooommmee money.

Ohhh life is so confusing at the moment, idyllic home life lasted for at least twenty-seven seconds. But I won't go into that.

I swear to god Lu, Su and I have the same families. Whenever one of us describes a member of our family it's usually describing a member of someone else's too. Strange!

Su wasn't in today, she had insomnia last night apparently. Urgh I hate insomnia, I'm surprised I haven't had it lately actually.. but my body and I are contrare - whatever is expected is never the way we do it.

So, here I am, sat in the dark front room, the sky looks sort of clear outside, hopeful to be sunny tomorrow.

I'm not going into coll tomorrow, I can't stand just sitting there pretending to try to draw or making *retch* collages. Much rather be at home doing nothing at all. Or would I?

We're going to Monmouth tomorrow apparently. Have a look around.

I should get a tatoo.

Raven's coming home tomorrow isn't she? From the Isle of Wight? Aww, I bet she won't want to leave. I was looking at the photos on her Face and she looked like she was having fun.

Oooo it's been arranged that we're (Lu, Su, possibly Bradd and I) going out next Friday! Ohhh yeaaah. It was meant to be this Friday but Su has driving lesson on Sat. Damn herr!

Something to look forward to though innit!

Okay i'm done here!

Speak soooooon

ta

Oh I, I believe in magic and I believe in dreams...

I have had the weirdest dreams just lately - they're way crazy, and I remember each one.

Undoubtedly they will stop now I have officially recognised their existence by posting them on all of my blogs, but i'd rather they stop than my forgetting to write them in my Dream Diary and just forgetting them completely.

I've nearly forgotten them but I know the main points!

Okay.

Well the first night.. must've been Saturday night, I dreamt that I was like bezzies with Kate Moss. It was way weird, but it was so cool, she was like "Oh my god, come with me to Paris!" and I was like "K. Is it okay if you give me a lift back in the helicopter?" "Sure!" So we were all like "woo we're going to Paris". Then it got kinda dark (metaphorically) and I think we went to some kind of drug den or something and there was worry. But part of the dream took place near the busstop side of the road by the Grafton towards Hereford.

That's about as much as I can remember about that dream, but I was way disappointed when I woke up, knowing that I wasn't really friends with Kate Moss.

The Sunday night dream was kinda weird, I was stood on the other side of the road from Oxfam in Ross, so it must've been outside... Sirius? And I was just like waiting there just looking around myself and this guy was in the shop window of Oxfam, like rearranging the display or something and he was like sort of flirting (from about like, twenty yards away, behind a window), but he was doing it kind of stupidly and I was being my modest self and just completely ignoring him. That was weird, but funny, and a story to tell... then it kind of faded into a different dream. I think I was with mum, or someone, and we had to leave like immediately. We were in a hotel room I think (it's all quite vague) and we were packing our suitcases, it was like we had been on the run for quite a while, and now we had to leave again. So I was like choosing what to take... fade out.

But last night's dream was just uber weird - I dreamt I kind of, unwillingly proposed to Suzanne. And she was kind of confused (so was I) and after a while of like nervous laughter and no answer, I asked Lucy, who was stood by her. And there was no sort of atmosphere like "But, you just asked me!" it was just perfectly fine - it was so weird.

I wonder if i'll have another one tonight.. It must be something happening lately that has caused them. I usually have these sudden bouts of really vivid dreams for a few days.

Anyway! Better go! I have idleness to be getting on with.

Night night my pretties

XXXX

Bristol and The Art of Miss Selfridge

Heya guyyyssss, how are we allll?

If you read this you simply must comment me telling me how you are - half of you I haven't seen in seventy two years!

Well, we went to Bristol today! Wooo!! Bristol! Art Trip!

Suzanne wasn't there!! She has an uber bad throat, probably a throat infection like Edii has. So it was just Lucy, Jad and I.So yeah. God, we got on the coach and it was literally just absolutely crepe. God it was like trying to jam more clothes into my room - impossible! It was one of those just utterly urgh coaches that had three seats on one side and two on the other, when on normal coaches it's two on each side.. So Lucy went against the window, me in the middle(!) and Jad on the aisle seat. Oh my god, I can't describe it. It was literally a bus for for oompa-loompas. Seriously. The legroom was about a centimetre. So my be-cowboybooted legs were like up around my ears and Jade was falling into the aisle because my legs were taking up so much space, and you had to sit with like utterly perfect posture (well, if you're my height you did), you could either sit like that or slump forward with your head on the back of the headrest of the seat in front, either way, your spline like splits by the time you get to Bristol.I managed to listen to about twenty-three songs out of nine-hundred-and-thirty on the way, while Lucy slept some of the way and Jad teetered on the edge of her seat and spoke to me while my headphones were in, ha. Lol, I love how, on my ipod, I have the most random things ever when it's on shuffle, one minute it's playing like, Rainy Night House by Joni Mitchell and like immediately after that it's playing like a five second sound effect of a bell ringing from some project I was doing on windows movie maker, haaaaaa, it's hilarious. No wonder there's over nine hundred songs on there if half of them are like "Sound Effect - Dog Barking", "Sound Effect - Fire Crackle", "Sound Effect - Wind Brushing Through Chinchilla Fur" etc. Lol.So yeah. LOL! Oh my god, we passed this dental practice and it was really like, clean and "welcome!" and I was like to Lucy "If I had a dental practice I would have it painted black, with cobwebs, blood stains on the carpet, Victorian dental instruments in glass cases on the wall, and a really unfriendly, old receptionist." And Lucy was like in this uber old hag voice "Welcome to HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!" I actually died of laughter - that was just the funniest thing ALL DAY - Absolute classic.So we eventually got there (after two hours) and I was lit just walking and taking pictures without stopping - and they are all now on the computer (and on here) and none of them were blurred - even though I literally just held my hand out and took a picture while walking, none were blurred, haaaa. Omg, and we came past this houseboat and it was FOR SALE! (suzanne, if you're reading this, look on photos to see the house boat for sale!) it was pretty huge actually! Suzanne should totally get it and live on it. Forever.So yeah. We eventually got to the Ampolish or whatever it was called gallery and we went in, listened to Jane for five minutes, went upstairs, looked around a bit and we went into this room and there were like big bits of wood stood around the room and they had like bits of tattered denim or something on them and I was like "i'll just take a picture of this to say i've seen it." and the flash went off and immediately this woman comes over and is like "Excuse me," in a relatively harsh tone "you can't take pictures in here.." "okay, i'm deleting it." "..unless you go and get a copyright form from the front desk and fill it out saying you won't use any of the ideas you are photographing." "..i've deleted it." It was partially embarrassing and ultimately aggrivating - as if I would steal their idea..SO YEAH. That was kinda rubbish. So Lucy, Jad and I walked around Bristol a bit, took some photos, I filmed some film (compiled and edited version now on here) and then we went shopping for three hours in the mall and around that area. Only on the way home did Jane tell me about the 'vintage shops' which sounded way cool :II didn't buy anything but omg, we went into French Connection and there was this way cool t-shirt - it was like red with black horizontal lines and on the lines sat silhouettes of birds and it was SO cool. I wanted it, but decided against getting it. I am absolutely ridiculously stupid. I really loved it!My feet were killing by the time we got to walking back, ha, it was fun though. To be quite honest, it wasn't much different to the shops in Hereford, apart from the like House of Fraser, Miss Selfridge, TopMan, French Connection and Office, all of the other stuff you could easily get in Hereford, i'm sure. The Primark was smaller than the one in Hereford! I actually loved that Primark, stuff had literally been thrown on the floor, it was hilare.There was a guy in TopMan that didn't know whether to ask if I needed help or not - he must've been new.The woman in GAP startled me half to death when she asked if she could help me.While we were walking to the centre of town from the docks, passed the streets and streets of cafes, I saw a grandmother with perfect makeup smiling, taking her grandchildren into one of the coffee shops. She looked so happy.There were several women sat alone in that riverside restaurant, probably for a business, although alone they seemed very indulged in whatever they were doing.Oh my god, and you know those Native American Indian people that are often in Hereford High Town playing like pan pipes and stuff? THEY WERE THERE! They had actually followed us, and they were playing the Last of The Mohicans music, which was actually really good.Omg, there was this uber cool guy with crimson hair in long spikes on his head - he was way amazing. Everyone in Bristol dressed like they wanted - it was so refreshing. And so many people looked so nice. Loved that about it.I can't believe I missed the Banksy on the wall! Sooooo peeved about that.It was a really good trip actually, although we didn't really do what we were supposed to, we had total fun :)On the way back, I listened to Gillian Welch and Bob Dylan on Tom's ipod - they are so good, love them. Got let off at the bottom of Aylestone Hill (thank god) and practically got straight on the bus and went home - feet a la kill but happy happy :)Anyway, my brain hurts from typing and remembering so i'll leave it at that for now :)

Love you all

Metal Mouth and Seventeen Centuries

Oh for god sake - I just wrote this blog but then darling grandmother turned off the internet so it didn't post. . . I wish she'd warn me! URGH

So here we go again!Had to go to the dentist today, it's usually a pretty much in and out thing, nothing tends to happen; biggest thing that ever happened about my teeth was my having to have an x-ray :OSo I went in, as usual, lay down on the stair-lift speed recliner, expecting to get up about ten seconds later after he checked my teeth and was like "They're wonderful teeth!" and sent me on my way. But no. He checked them and informed me that I needed four fillings. One in a tooth in each corner of my mouth. Surprised I was.Although seeing as last January I started my diet and that February was my last dentist appointment I suppose it makes sense... seeing as drastic changes in eating habits has effect on your teeth *living proof*. So yeah, was about to leave the building when the receptionist asked me if I would like to have one of my fillings done right then as there was a vacant space. I agreed. God, it seemed like I was lain on that recliner for at least seventeen centuries (yes, the title of the blog comes after the writing of it) and they were doing all stuff to my mouth! I wasn't exactly concentrating on what was happening, I just knew that the visor Neil (the dentist) was wearing looked a lot like the £300 Maison Martin Margiela L'Incognito sunglasses I totally want. Oh and that ridiculous map on the ceiling that's like brown it's so old - you can tell how old it is as Russia is still U.S.S.R. and Germany is still seperated into East and West, and seeing as the Berlin Wall collapsed in the year that I was born...So yeah, I eventually got to leave, with another appointment for another checkup and probably another filling in six months. Nan will eventually have to spend like £130 there for the checkup, an x-ray and a tooth out :S I bet Neil is rubbing his hands together, ha.Omg and how ming is the like miniature waterslide thing you have to spit into while the assistant holds it? It's way vile. Oh god and when he's putting the numbing gel on and it's not going numb you kinda go into a panic thinking "...it's not numb, is it going to go numb?!" But he gives you ten minutes to go and read Period Living and wait for it to go senseless. And after he's done loads of stuff in your mouth he's like "can you feel it with your tongue?!" and i was like "...omg......." it felt like there was a piece of wood in my mouth haaa. And he's trying to talk to you over the sound of like buzzing and pressure washers or whatever like "Clamp your teeth down. CLAMP YOUR TEETH DOWN!" And he like tells jokes and stuff while he's got most of his toolbox in your mouth and so you just end up doing this stupid gargling laugh while hoping he just stops talking, ha. He's really nice though.*copies and pastes onto word as so not killed by nan again*Going for a 'walk' just now, down to the river. I'd better change shoes and trousers... and probably outfit as it's just the Death Slide of Mud by the river. How random is the fog lately? I've been waking up at like eleven in the morning (well, once) and all I can see out of my window is like white and all I hear is the distant tolling of a buoy struggling on the waves by the cove... (lie) But seriously, has anyone ever seen the film The Fog with Jamie Lee Curtis and is it Jessica Tandy? *looks up* Oh no! Janet Leigh from the fog. Well I never knew Janet Leigh was Jamie Lee Curtis's mother! Well you learn something new every day. But yeah, The Fog is [Film spoilers ahead!] when the fog surrounds the houses and the freeko pirates come and knock on the door three times and then stab whoever's inside as they are looking for their gold wot is bricked up in the church - the fog in the morning is like that! Murdering, vengeful pirates and all!But yeah, by the time I have all these fillings done i'm gonna be like Jaws from James Bond (what is with the film references?)Oh my god! Has anyone seen the duet of Tina Turner and Beyonce at the Grammies? It's on youtube - look at it! After an eight minute duet Beyonce is like dog tired and Tina is just getting started and it's hilare seeing as Beyonce is like twenty-eight(?) and Tina is like sixty-nine! haa watch it!My mouth is still numb!!

Anyhoo, gotta go get changed or something

loadsa

Melting Metal and Neon Nights

Heyzationista Valli!

How are we all? excellent!

Well today was rather randalicious.

We had DAV! Dav is so cool I may actually just marry Dav. He's amaze. Ha, Dav drew a stylized chaise longue on the board and I was like "I'll show you my ideal chaise." as I took the pen and proceeded to draw a rectangle on legs with a roll cushion followed by "My house is going to be an aseptic box." Which I would actually love, and oh my god, I'd have all of the floors UBER polished as in, mirror shine polished just so it was uber deadly and so NOT a childsafe environment. Would be great. But kinda deadly for me with my non-existant grip shoes. Would be great. Did anyone see that Grand Designs where they wanted just like a white box house and on the outside it was white box and inside it was white and the floor was like marble and the stairs had like holes in it and they had two young children...? It was hilare, OH EM JEE and she spent a thousand pound on a single tap! Which, admittedly I would do if I was uber-rich but you still had to like manually turn it on!! Talk about slave labour!But yeah, all of my clothes and junk would be hidden in matte white cupboards that literally just blended into the wall so you couldn't even tell where the wall was and where the cupboard was - EVER. So you have to like remember which side the cupboards are on and they'd have those pressure openers so you'd just like push them and they'd open... or maybe they'd slide - I wouldn't want to destroy the karma of the room with opening doors... I seriously have it planned. Then the people in the house would be wearing like colour and they'd be walking around just a white box - like on a canvas - god it's gonna be great.Okay, stop using your blog as a thought processor. So yeah.We were given rectangles of perspex and covered them in two layers of masking tape which was uber-fun, then we carved our designs into the tape with a scalpel. Typically enough Suzanne and I both started doing exactly the same thing, lol, but mine kind of accidentally turned into this Art Nouveau style pattern which Dav and Greg both commented on as being like Charles Rennie Mackintosh. So yeah, after peeling out the bits we'd cut out we went down to 3D and sandblasted it - it was way weird - have you ever seen Alien Ressurection where he's doing the operation in the tank with those rubber gloves through the side of the actual tank? It was like that. Only he didn't have a like tap which shot sand at plastic ha.It turned out way good though - I was totally pleased.I then proceeded to do another design like that on metal and cut it out using the plasma gun (while describing to mum i called it a 'Lazer gun' so that's what it's now called). I then didn't know what the hell to do so I removed to the classroom where I did research and just met Lucy as she went home with.. illness. I'd met her just as she was laying down a note for us haaa.There was a picture of a shoe on the wall in 3D and I was like "...Balenciaga, Winter 2007." God knows why it was there.So yeah, Dav has pressured me into making a model replica of my extremely modernist chaise longue. I think I might. Could be fun! I could upholster it and everything. Hmmm.We went into town today. Town seriously needs to get something entertaining for people with a short amount of time to be entertained to do. We wondered a bit, we went to Jeans Nation, where I thought i might get some jeans... I was wrong. Then we sat outside on some wooden chairs and ate a bit, then mosied down to Funny Farm where I bought a way. cool. belt. Suzanne found it *gives her the credit* the buckle is this hand with a diamond ring on coming from a lace cuff - it's way cool. Belt's not leather but doesn't matter. I didn't even try it on, I was like "how much?" and the amazingly cool guy was like "uhhhh, fiver?". The guy is so cool. We went into cash generator and I bought Sophie's Choice and Last of the Mohicans on DVD and we came back out again after like half an hour and the guy in Funny Farm was juggling on his own in the shop and he saw us and looked slightly embarrassed! He is SO cool. Totally love that shop. OH MY GOD, I want the jostick that smells of sky! it's way cool. They should make it into a perfume.Okay I better stop randomly rambling.God I love my blog!LoadsaOH EM JEE I almost forgot - it was in the title as well! I just saw Elton's photos from her party - they are all SO cool. Lauren looks like she's dead in most of them! She's way pale! Alithea looks so cool in neon!! Elton, you just looked fab, TOTALLY.

Everyone looked fab. It was a great party!!!

Whatever Happened to Baby Jade

Ooooooo i'm tired!!

Today was a fun-filled day of doing stuff for once!!First Lucy and Suzanne photographed their work for the powerpoint presentation in the photography studio then we powerpointed all of the photos which took less than nine seconds, and it was quite good to actually be doing something for once!*sneeze*Alex (tutor) gave me back my CD with Whatever Happened to Baby Jade (music video for photograph [which will be posted on my profile after it's debut tomorrow morning]) with a strip of masking tape stuck to it with "Improve? Show for aement." each '' representing an 's' (I presume anyway). I was tempted to put "NO?" after 'Improve?' but then I found out that he was only concerned as to what i'd be doing for the next two days before our critique.Well it turns out I did a little directing for an original The Ring-esque film for Lu & Su's second video (after their first videos just broke completely). Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! It was way funny, we were filming in Room 106, which is like the best room to film anything ever, and there's a little flight of stairs down to a door which leads into the Contact Course Room and Lucy was lain down the flight of stairs in a deliberately spacazoid way as to look as if she'd fallen (off the one step) and broke her legs, neck and several other vital bones while surrounded by juggling balls (a key feature in this film later christened 'Disturbia'). Haaaaaa we were so worried that someone in the contact course was going to wonder what the noise through the door was and open up to see Lucy collapsed, helpless down the steps haaaaaa, god that was funny.And my damn camera kept saying "Change Batteries" So I ran to le bibliotheque and they didn't have any, was pointed in the direction of Marie's and so quickstepped there and back with a pack of four batteries only to find they didn't work in the camera..Haaaaaaa, and while we were discovering the batteries were broke Lucy was meanwhile splitting her spline on the corners of the steps, haaaaaa. ANYWAY, it turned out the original batteries were going to survive for a while longer (as I was extra kind to them) and we continued to film.Ohhhh it's a good film, Lucy looks uber creepy in it! Oh my god, I desperately need to find the sound of white noise from somewhere! That will literally set the video off to amazement. It screams Japanese horror from the originals of The Ring and The Grudge. Ha, it lasts like, two minutes and has no sound, even though it's meant to last fifteen SECONDS and be a music video. God I loved filming it. Being a director is way fun!!! I have the only copy (apart from the original on my computer account in college) right next to me on disc! It's way cool! Okay i'll stop going on about it! (Disturbia will also debut tomorrow morning and so can't talk about it now!!)But yes, we stayed sitting at the computer until half four and I had to like powerwalk to the bus haaa.My throat is way saw!Oooo looking forward to tomorrow night! Will be ace!!

Oh my god, that's if it doesn't snow TOO MUCH!!

Way tired

Loadsa

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Pirates and Cubicles

Ohhhhh Emmmmmmmmmmmm Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Last night was actually HILARE.*WHINE* why are all of my nails breaking?! I seriously need like, more health.It was so funny when we were collecting Alithea, because my phone went off just as we were pulling up to her house, it was James asking if I was going to the party that night, then the radio in the car suddenly blasts on and I’m screaming for it to be turned down, then I’m trying to get out of the car without being run over, then I was knocking on the door and trying to talk to James and Alithea’s dad at the same time. God, I must’ve seemed rude being on the phone. Ha, Alithea and I must’ve looked tres funny as Princess Fiona from Shrek and a typical pirate haha!Jess looked stunning in her white dress, I hope she had a wonderful Birthday party! Those photos of her on the screen in the foyer were sooooo cute!! It was a great party – I like going to parties where there are only a few people I know, gives me a chance to socialize quite a lot! It was way a cool party!Ha, going up the bouncy castle was a nightmare! I did it just the once, and when I got off I was like uber out of breath – I am so unbelievably unfit it was funny.But yes, I swear to god I didn’t drink that much at the party! And yet, I have never been so drunk in my entire life and I’m still feeling the effects. I’ll recount what I had! (I have two amazing talents of, no matter how drunk I get, I always remember everything and never have hangovers) To start off I had a cocktail Alithea invented, which, from this moment forward is being called Aleetho Juice, it was 99% cranberry juice (which I ADORE) and a literal splash of vodka. Thinking about it that’s vodka and cranberry… but still! That was way nice. Okay I just remembered what I did drink, and maybe I did drink quite a bit… Okay, major note to myself: Never mix your drinks EVER again. I always tell myself not to, and I always do it. Okay maybe I won’t recount the drinks I had; it makes me feel queasy.Ha, James noticed I had my ear pierced; his expression was so hilare. Oh my god, Alithea on the bouncy castle just seemed like the funniest thing in the entire world, HAAAAA, it was just when she dismounted, it was like a gymnast dressed as Princess Fiona, oh god it was funny! I was laughing WITH you Alf!!God, I literally just went to the loos for something to do, and locked myself in a cubicle then kind of… thought the floor looked inviting, and ended up sitting on it for god knows how long, nearly falling asleep (it must’ve been one of those times when drink makes me narcoleptic). Then apparently someone said that I was passed out in the loos and so came a torrent of at least nineteen thousand people coming in and asking if I was okay, haa. Then there was one voice I didn’t think I’d hear that night – Michael Fish’s! Five seconds later the cubicle door was open and I was literally being dragged out on the floor and out onto the dance floor. Ha, the macarena was funny, I was so out of time and I’d completely forgotten the steps and Mr Lambert was taking photos haaaa, was so funny.I also remember, while being in the cubicle, two boys named Ben talking to me, making sure I wasn’t “passing out and subsequently dying”, because I told them I hadn’t eaten and that I was anorexic… Only the latter didn’t sound like much of a joke this time and so they got me bread to eat, which they slid under the door but naturally was left untouched seeing as it was on the floor of a public toilet.Omg, I seriously need to stop biting my nails!! Need to get the nail kit.Um, I think that’s about it for the party report! Just texting James about it. I hope I wasn’t too scandalous, and I would like to apologize if I was.

Thanks for a great great party!!

Lubs!!!!!!!!!!!!XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Old Friends and Silver Studs

Well, today indeed was a very VERY good one, god I enjoyed myself, the first Saturday in at least sixteen hundred years that I've done so.Mother was at work today, which is unusual! And so I walked upt 'own by myself, it was sunny, and I was merry! I got forty out of the bank - for my phone bill and other such, but ended up spending it all on pretty things.Wandering past Sirius I thought, pivetted, went back and went in and got my left ear lobe pieced with a nice plain silver stud (as the others were like dia-mont-ays which just screech 'David Beckham!!'). Then I waltzed up the street, buying little niceties, visited mother in le magasin, walked back down, about to browse in Oxfam when a girl opened the door to come out and it was Jess Adshead! A very dear friend of mine from god, um, must be about eight years since I last saw her. We stopped and talked for a while, she is still, such a wonderful person, she is totally my muse, she has hardly changed at all, slightly more grown up and prettier, but she commented on my having changed a lot and she wouldn't have recognized me if it wasn't for the pictures of me on Bebo! It just rounded my day off fantastically. Was way on a high after.Then I went into Burtons (that shows how good a mood I was in) and tried on a thirty-six waist jean and they fit! Perfectly fine! (I usually take a thirty-eight) God, by this time I was like the OOBER happy. But I wanted skinny jeans! And naturally, Burtons only do the basic menswear, which is like, jeans, bootcut jeans, a hoodie, a hoodie with a logo and a t-shirt, so I didn't find any in there :( And so I went to the other side of the shop, aka Dorothy Perkins and got some from there. I fit into a size sixteen jean! Haaaa! God, they are WAY skinny. I love them. I am totally taking Lucy's advice and wearing them with my cowboy booties over the top. Ha, the mens' changing room (not plural) aka, an actual cupboard was closed for some reason so I had to use the ladies changing room and I could hear what this girl was saying to her mother, it was hilare. The girl was like "This is

really nice!" mother: "What size is it?" "A twelve." "Then it won't fit! I'm trying on eights and tens and you're trying on a twelve and you're smaller than me!" "But I want it!" "No you don't!" "YES i do!" "Do you have money?!" "Yes!!" "FINE! Get it!" "...I need to borrow a fiver." "...How much is it?" "...a fiver."God mens' changing rooms are so hystare, the one in Pritchards I literally didn't know was there, as it just looks like a door that leads to like the staff room or something, but it actually lead into a like metre square room with a picture on the wall, and I swear to god, I was trying on something in there and I leaned on the wall and the wall moved! It was like made of painted chipboard or something and so I was like trying not to touch it again incase I like fell through onto the shop floor or something. But seriously, the worst changing room EVER was in Mervyn James, this like, bespoke tailors in Ross, which is like really nice, and then I went to try something on, you pull back this heavy velvet curtain and you're in this barely painted room under the stairs with like a stepladder and paintcans. It was way funny. Oh my god, practically the entire post is about changing rooms...So yeah, and now i'm looking forward to going to re-visit San Marie's tonight for Jess Lambert's birthday party! I shall blog post tomorrow about how it went.I seriously need to start thinking about my costume, I think I shall pirate it up as I have the earring now, and I'm sure i'll be able to conjure up some piratical theme from my wardrobe.

Okay!

Better go!

Lubs lubs lubs

Insomnia and The Lesser Plague

OH MY GOD! That phone seriously wants me dead (we've recently had a second phone connected in the front room and I near pass out whenever it goes off).Anyway, oh god, i fell rough. Admittedly not as rough as previous days but still, rough. I've got this flu from somewhere (Noone knows where) and when it wants to, it literally just makes you cough continually until your eyes and general head throbs. I hate the fact that there are at least fifteen thousand posters around college screaming in red letters "IF YOU HAVE THE VOMITING BUG MAKE SURE YOU GIVE IT FORTY-EIGHT HOURS BEFORE YOU COME BACK INTO COLLEGE!" etc. etc. And like a day after they put them up I started to feel, what can only be described as, dog rough. So I was like "Oh sweet mother of God, this is typical, i catch everything that ever goes around." but no, it wasn't the Big Disease it was the flu (I should really be greatful).So I was abb-sont, as the French say, on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday last week, annoyed that I missed quite a bit of work and socializing, and also missing out on my (reduced sum since last year) £20 EMA. And there's no point in like writing a letter or whatever saying you are ill because it takes them about a hundred and sixty five million centuries for them to like realise it was an authorized absense and that I am worthy of payment. And that is not at all vexing, as it's not like I have to pay for a one hundred and twenty pound A7 piece of card for the bus with that money. But the really hilare thing was: today I recieved a letter in the post with a grid of the week with blue biro ticks under AM and PM for Tuesday, Thursday and Friday stating these 'Unauthorized Absences' were why I wasn't getting my EMA for this week. I love how it like tells you why you aren't getting the EMA as if you wouldn't know.ANYWAY!So yes, this illness is pretty lame-OH.On Sunday night I went to bed at eleven, read 'til about one then attempted sleep. I slept for about an hour as the rest of the time I was coughing. Continually. And it's not like it gets light in the morning so I couldn't tell if my alarm was going to go off any second or I still had three hours to wait. It was seriously bad. But when it finally went off I was surprisingly alive! I was quite active actually (well, as active as you can be at six thirty in the morning).Then at college I thought I was going to be alright! I thought 'It's better to be moving around instead of just lain at home with nan bringing supplies of caffeine and cold and flu tablets whenever it's safe not to overdose'.But I was rough. UBER rough. Plus, I got given the most boring item to draw and inspire me in the entire class and universe - I got a rectangle sheet of metal... Oh also, I'll take this oppurtunity to apologize to like everyone I was just ILL at. Sorrrrreeeee! I was lit just non-stop complaining and just telling random passer-bys how shit the thing I had to draw was - it was bad.Anyway, going home seemed like a good prospect, but on the bus, oh my beegees, it was bad; as soon as I sat down (listening to Cher!!) I was off. Coughing. Plus, to make it worse there were at least nine hundred and seventy six people on the bus and so I had to have my huge (HAND REPAIRED par moi!) military jacket on me, while someone sat next to me, and the heaters were on full blast and I was just a state. [OH MY GOD I thought i'd deleted it all then, PHEW] And you know when you're like polite coughing as so people don't think you're trying to hack up a hairball like *three coughs* *silence* *three coughs* *silence* *three coughs* *silence* then when I got off the bus I was like "COUUUUUUUUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!". It was bad.Anyway, i'd better go.I dunno if i'll be in tomorrow, I thought i'd be alright on Monday but I seriously wasn't, so I probs wont. I haven't had an illness for this long for forever, cough, see you all soon.

LUBS

New Years Resolutions

I have finally decided what my resolutions are

My New Years Resolutions:

1 - Stop being such a slut whore bitch to everyone - last year is SO last season.

2 - Actually learn how to properly socialize with people

3 - Try to be loveable and not cold

4 - Stop being so damn selfish

5 - Stop being so bitter about people and things

6 - Be a generally nicer person - DETOX

The Four Spokes and The Stone Floor

Heyz

God, going down to our free was actually a nightmare today; it was hilare, Lucy, Suzanne and I all had umbrellas, it was totally like that program where they tried out the three different items of the same genre to see how good each one was;Lucy's umbrella is from H&M, at £4.99, it is the most expensive out of the three.Josh's umbrella is from Superdrug, at £2.99 will it survive the gale force winds of Aylestone Hill?Suzanne's umbrella came free with a magazine, how will this giveaway compare to the ones that cost actual money?In third place was my umbrella as it blew inside out countless times and broke four spokes of the metal interior (which were rusting anyway) and hence one side flopped limply without support, lol, it looked tres stupid, I had to bin it and run into H&M to buy a new one. In second place was Lucy's H&M umbrella, although keeping the torrential rain and gusts from her (just about) it also blew inside out frightfully and broke a spoke. At number one, uber-surprisingly is Suzanne's free umbrella which, although was more often inside out than outside out, did not break at all and might "have just been the way she was holding it", ha, they should totally come with instructions on how to use them. I love how umbrellas are only used to light drizzle and slight wind; if the rain is coming down sideways and the wind is hurricane-esque they just wither, soak through and break.After visits to Powerplay and T.K. Maxx Lucy needed to get some clothes to print on from Primark for textiles. God the rain was actually ridiculous, i'm surprised we weren't completely drenched. We entered Primark and started walking up the aisle at which point my foot shot from under me, and I sooooo nearly fell on my behind it was unbelieve, it was so quick I hadn't time to react, ha. Then I noticed the "wet floor" sign, conveniently placed. Why don't they have carpet in there or something? The floor is like stone, I could have totally like cracked my head open in Primark!! Lol, my shoes seriously don't have grip on them though, they are actually bad: mud, wet surfaces, metal and general floor are all fatal to walk on with them.

Okay enough blogging for tonight, I have a new Joni CD to listen to!

Love

Feeding The Dogs Yves Saint Laurent

Hey blog,Well, i've just been upstairs to my bedroom and I have *breathe* cleared out a lot of clothes that have been hanging around for... god, literally a year now, seeing as I went on the "diet" (sarcastically quoted as I literally cut crisps out and ate less and hence lost two and a half stone [crisps were quite a main factor in my diet {very fussy eater}]) in January 2007. God some of those clothes mustered up memories... There was one Ralph Lauren shirt that was like dark blue and I had said "Oh, it looks like an overall!" and five seconds earlier mum had been talking about how everyone had kept saying they thought she was wearing her overalls when she was wearing her new dark blue dress. She didn't look happy.There was that Pierre Cardin suit that I wore to the disaster of an "Ice Ball" where you couldn't hear anyone talking because the music was so loud, there was only dear Hester and my sister to talk to and by the end of the night half of the people were being sick. And there were those vile VILE pictures of me and I just looked god awful - that was when I was at my maximum weight - they have never seen the light of day and never will. EVER.Oh my god! There was that pair of tan trousers that were way expensive and I wore them once - to Sian-Marie's leaving school party and we sat on those railway sleepers that made the flowerbeds and they got oil on them ha! So the we put a stencil design over the marks that didn't wash out but I never wore them again haha! There's a picture of me from two years ago wearing them at the party, before I realised they had been ruined haa, god I look different! I was never into fashion back then and other pictures verify that I am wearing ROUND slip-ons!It's funny how items carry memories isn't it?All of those clothes have been donated to a local charity shop to protect dogs ha!I won't bore my blog with anymore stories about my clothes haha!

Love you all loads

TAT!

Josh

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The Cowboys

Yes! A blog, from moi! It's been over a millenium, blog, it's like... coming home.Well, like the very sane person I am I decided to wear my wonderful Christmas present to college today - My new New Rock cowboy boots. They were perfectly fine when walking around Ross and Hereford and having a little mosey, etc, but when it comes walking up the several thousand verticle miles of Aylestone Hill - it really is no mosey.Half way up the hill, the boots decided to betray me and began to rub my heels like a pair of grinding wheels. I survived the hill, with the emotional support of dear Alithea, and struggled on to the daily round of Sixth Form and onto Art, my ankles near dust by then, but still, I pressed on with dignity, in the name of fashion!!!I asked Jane for several plasters but we became indulged in conversation and she must have forgotten. I asked Tom if he happened to have several plasters, he said he had a fifty pound note and I said some Fendi plasters would've been nicer but it would do, at which he strangely laughed and walked away. And so after a while of walking around in my socks, I braved walking the corridor to the office where I found my saviour whose name I always forget, but she's the nicest lady around and I adore her, and she also needed a plaster after an accident with a jammed piece of metal. So we made our way up the stairs to the principal's office (naturally the only place in the entire college you would find plasters) and are now recovering from our injuries.And so, comes to an end another trivial tale in my life dramaticised only by the way I write!

There may be another tale soon... who knows...

Night children,

xxxxx

Josh

P.S. That picture is me in my cowboy boots taken on a phone, hence: weird. Plus: forehead = cut off because I looked uber malformed
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