Bristol and The Art of Miss Selfridge

Heya guyyyssss, how are we allll?

If you read this you simply must comment me telling me how you are - half of you I haven't seen in seventy two years!

Well, we went to Bristol today! Wooo!! Bristol! Art Trip!

Suzanne wasn't there!! She has an uber bad throat, probably a throat infection like Edii has. So it was just Lucy, Jad and I.So yeah. God, we got on the coach and it was literally just absolutely crepe. God it was like trying to jam more clothes into my room - impossible! It was one of those just utterly urgh coaches that had three seats on one side and two on the other, when on normal coaches it's two on each side.. So Lucy went against the window, me in the middle(!) and Jad on the aisle seat. Oh my god, I can't describe it. It was literally a bus for for oompa-loompas. Seriously. The legroom was about a centimetre. So my be-cowboybooted legs were like up around my ears and Jade was falling into the aisle because my legs were taking up so much space, and you had to sit with like utterly perfect posture (well, if you're my height you did), you could either sit like that or slump forward with your head on the back of the headrest of the seat in front, either way, your spline like splits by the time you get to Bristol.I managed to listen to about twenty-three songs out of nine-hundred-and-thirty on the way, while Lucy slept some of the way and Jad teetered on the edge of her seat and spoke to me while my headphones were in, ha. Lol, I love how, on my ipod, I have the most random things ever when it's on shuffle, one minute it's playing like, Rainy Night House by Joni Mitchell and like immediately after that it's playing like a five second sound effect of a bell ringing from some project I was doing on windows movie maker, haaaaaa, it's hilarious. No wonder there's over nine hundred songs on there if half of them are like "Sound Effect - Dog Barking", "Sound Effect - Fire Crackle", "Sound Effect - Wind Brushing Through Chinchilla Fur" etc. Lol.So yeah. LOL! Oh my god, we passed this dental practice and it was really like, clean and "welcome!" and I was like to Lucy "If I had a dental practice I would have it painted black, with cobwebs, blood stains on the carpet, Victorian dental instruments in glass cases on the wall, and a really unfriendly, old receptionist." And Lucy was like in this uber old hag voice "Welcome to HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!" I actually died of laughter - that was just the funniest thing ALL DAY - Absolute classic.So we eventually got there (after two hours) and I was lit just walking and taking pictures without stopping - and they are all now on the computer (and on here) and none of them were blurred - even though I literally just held my hand out and took a picture while walking, none were blurred, haaaa. Omg, and we came past this houseboat and it was FOR SALE! (suzanne, if you're reading this, look on photos to see the house boat for sale!) it was pretty huge actually! Suzanne should totally get it and live on it. Forever.So yeah. We eventually got to the Ampolish or whatever it was called gallery and we went in, listened to Jane for five minutes, went upstairs, looked around a bit and we went into this room and there were like big bits of wood stood around the room and they had like bits of tattered denim or something on them and I was like "i'll just take a picture of this to say i've seen it." and the flash went off and immediately this woman comes over and is like "Excuse me," in a relatively harsh tone "you can't take pictures in here.." "okay, i'm deleting it." "..unless you go and get a copyright form from the front desk and fill it out saying you won't use any of the ideas you are photographing." "..i've deleted it." It was partially embarrassing and ultimately aggrivating - as if I would steal their idea..SO YEAH. That was kinda rubbish. So Lucy, Jad and I walked around Bristol a bit, took some photos, I filmed some film (compiled and edited version now on here) and then we went shopping for three hours in the mall and around that area. Only on the way home did Jane tell me about the 'vintage shops' which sounded way cool :II didn't buy anything but omg, we went into French Connection and there was this way cool t-shirt - it was like red with black horizontal lines and on the lines sat silhouettes of birds and it was SO cool. I wanted it, but decided against getting it. I am absolutely ridiculously stupid. I really loved it!My feet were killing by the time we got to walking back, ha, it was fun though. To be quite honest, it wasn't much different to the shops in Hereford, apart from the like House of Fraser, Miss Selfridge, TopMan, French Connection and Office, all of the other stuff you could easily get in Hereford, i'm sure. The Primark was smaller than the one in Hereford! I actually loved that Primark, stuff had literally been thrown on the floor, it was hilare.There was a guy in TopMan that didn't know whether to ask if I needed help or not - he must've been new.The woman in GAP startled me half to death when she asked if she could help me.While we were walking to the centre of town from the docks, passed the streets and streets of cafes, I saw a grandmother with perfect makeup smiling, taking her grandchildren into one of the coffee shops. She looked so happy.There were several women sat alone in that riverside restaurant, probably for a business, although alone they seemed very indulged in whatever they were doing.Oh my god, and you know those Native American Indian people that are often in Hereford High Town playing like pan pipes and stuff? THEY WERE THERE! They had actually followed us, and they were playing the Last of The Mohicans music, which was actually really good.Omg, there was this uber cool guy with crimson hair in long spikes on his head - he was way amazing. Everyone in Bristol dressed like they wanted - it was so refreshing. And so many people looked so nice. Loved that about it.I can't believe I missed the Banksy on the wall! Sooooo peeved about that.It was a really good trip actually, although we didn't really do what we were supposed to, we had total fun :)On the way back, I listened to Gillian Welch and Bob Dylan on Tom's ipod - they are so good, love them. Got let off at the bottom of Aylestone Hill (thank god) and practically got straight on the bus and went home - feet a la kill but happy happy :)Anyway, my brain hurts from typing and remembering so i'll leave it at that for now :)

Love you all

Metal Mouth and Seventeen Centuries

Oh for god sake - I just wrote this blog but then darling grandmother turned off the internet so it didn't post. . . I wish she'd warn me! URGH

So here we go again!Had to go to the dentist today, it's usually a pretty much in and out thing, nothing tends to happen; biggest thing that ever happened about my teeth was my having to have an x-ray :OSo I went in, as usual, lay down on the stair-lift speed recliner, expecting to get up about ten seconds later after he checked my teeth and was like "They're wonderful teeth!" and sent me on my way. But no. He checked them and informed me that I needed four fillings. One in a tooth in each corner of my mouth. Surprised I was.Although seeing as last January I started my diet and that February was my last dentist appointment I suppose it makes sense... seeing as drastic changes in eating habits has effect on your teeth *living proof*. So yeah, was about to leave the building when the receptionist asked me if I would like to have one of my fillings done right then as there was a vacant space. I agreed. God, it seemed like I was lain on that recliner for at least seventeen centuries (yes, the title of the blog comes after the writing of it) and they were doing all stuff to my mouth! I wasn't exactly concentrating on what was happening, I just knew that the visor Neil (the dentist) was wearing looked a lot like the £300 Maison Martin Margiela L'Incognito sunglasses I totally want. Oh and that ridiculous map on the ceiling that's like brown it's so old - you can tell how old it is as Russia is still U.S.S.R. and Germany is still seperated into East and West, and seeing as the Berlin Wall collapsed in the year that I was born...So yeah, I eventually got to leave, with another appointment for another checkup and probably another filling in six months. Nan will eventually have to spend like £130 there for the checkup, an x-ray and a tooth out :S I bet Neil is rubbing his hands together, ha.Omg and how ming is the like miniature waterslide thing you have to spit into while the assistant holds it? It's way vile. Oh god and when he's putting the numbing gel on and it's not going numb you kinda go into a panic thinking "...it's not numb, is it going to go numb?!" But he gives you ten minutes to go and read Period Living and wait for it to go senseless. And after he's done loads of stuff in your mouth he's like "can you feel it with your tongue?!" and i was like "...omg......." it felt like there was a piece of wood in my mouth haaa. And he's trying to talk to you over the sound of like buzzing and pressure washers or whatever like "Clamp your teeth down. CLAMP YOUR TEETH DOWN!" And he like tells jokes and stuff while he's got most of his toolbox in your mouth and so you just end up doing this stupid gargling laugh while hoping he just stops talking, ha. He's really nice though.*copies and pastes onto word as so not killed by nan again*Going for a 'walk' just now, down to the river. I'd better change shoes and trousers... and probably outfit as it's just the Death Slide of Mud by the river. How random is the fog lately? I've been waking up at like eleven in the morning (well, once) and all I can see out of my window is like white and all I hear is the distant tolling of a buoy struggling on the waves by the cove... (lie) But seriously, has anyone ever seen the film The Fog with Jamie Lee Curtis and is it Jessica Tandy? *looks up* Oh no! Janet Leigh from the fog. Well I never knew Janet Leigh was Jamie Lee Curtis's mother! Well you learn something new every day. But yeah, The Fog is [Film spoilers ahead!] when the fog surrounds the houses and the freeko pirates come and knock on the door three times and then stab whoever's inside as they are looking for their gold wot is bricked up in the church - the fog in the morning is like that! Murdering, vengeful pirates and all!But yeah, by the time I have all these fillings done i'm gonna be like Jaws from James Bond (what is with the film references?)Oh my god! Has anyone seen the duet of Tina Turner and Beyonce at the Grammies? It's on youtube - look at it! After an eight minute duet Beyonce is like dog tired and Tina is just getting started and it's hilare seeing as Beyonce is like twenty-eight(?) and Tina is like sixty-nine! haa watch it!My mouth is still numb!!

Anyhoo, gotta go get changed or something

loadsa

Melting Metal and Neon Nights

Heyzationista Valli!

How are we all? excellent!

Well today was rather randalicious.

We had DAV! Dav is so cool I may actually just marry Dav. He's amaze. Ha, Dav drew a stylized chaise longue on the board and I was like "I'll show you my ideal chaise." as I took the pen and proceeded to draw a rectangle on legs with a roll cushion followed by "My house is going to be an aseptic box." Which I would actually love, and oh my god, I'd have all of the floors UBER polished as in, mirror shine polished just so it was uber deadly and so NOT a childsafe environment. Would be great. But kinda deadly for me with my non-existant grip shoes. Would be great. Did anyone see that Grand Designs where they wanted just like a white box house and on the outside it was white box and inside it was white and the floor was like marble and the stairs had like holes in it and they had two young children...? It was hilare, OH EM JEE and she spent a thousand pound on a single tap! Which, admittedly I would do if I was uber-rich but you still had to like manually turn it on!! Talk about slave labour!But yeah, all of my clothes and junk would be hidden in matte white cupboards that literally just blended into the wall so you couldn't even tell where the wall was and where the cupboard was - EVER. So you have to like remember which side the cupboards are on and they'd have those pressure openers so you'd just like push them and they'd open... or maybe they'd slide - I wouldn't want to destroy the karma of the room with opening doors... I seriously have it planned. Then the people in the house would be wearing like colour and they'd be walking around just a white box - like on a canvas - god it's gonna be great.Okay, stop using your blog as a thought processor. So yeah.We were given rectangles of perspex and covered them in two layers of masking tape which was uber-fun, then we carved our designs into the tape with a scalpel. Typically enough Suzanne and I both started doing exactly the same thing, lol, but mine kind of accidentally turned into this Art Nouveau style pattern which Dav and Greg both commented on as being like Charles Rennie Mackintosh. So yeah, after peeling out the bits we'd cut out we went down to 3D and sandblasted it - it was way weird - have you ever seen Alien Ressurection where he's doing the operation in the tank with those rubber gloves through the side of the actual tank? It was like that. Only he didn't have a like tap which shot sand at plastic ha.It turned out way good though - I was totally pleased.I then proceeded to do another design like that on metal and cut it out using the plasma gun (while describing to mum i called it a 'Lazer gun' so that's what it's now called). I then didn't know what the hell to do so I removed to the classroom where I did research and just met Lucy as she went home with.. illness. I'd met her just as she was laying down a note for us haaa.There was a picture of a shoe on the wall in 3D and I was like "...Balenciaga, Winter 2007." God knows why it was there.So yeah, Dav has pressured me into making a model replica of my extremely modernist chaise longue. I think I might. Could be fun! I could upholster it and everything. Hmmm.We went into town today. Town seriously needs to get something entertaining for people with a short amount of time to be entertained to do. We wondered a bit, we went to Jeans Nation, where I thought i might get some jeans... I was wrong. Then we sat outside on some wooden chairs and ate a bit, then mosied down to Funny Farm where I bought a way. cool. belt. Suzanne found it *gives her the credit* the buckle is this hand with a diamond ring on coming from a lace cuff - it's way cool. Belt's not leather but doesn't matter. I didn't even try it on, I was like "how much?" and the amazingly cool guy was like "uhhhh, fiver?". The guy is so cool. We went into cash generator and I bought Sophie's Choice and Last of the Mohicans on DVD and we came back out again after like half an hour and the guy in Funny Farm was juggling on his own in the shop and he saw us and looked slightly embarrassed! He is SO cool. Totally love that shop. OH MY GOD, I want the jostick that smells of sky! it's way cool. They should make it into a perfume.Okay I better stop randomly rambling.God I love my blog!LoadsaOH EM JEE I almost forgot - it was in the title as well! I just saw Elton's photos from her party - they are all SO cool. Lauren looks like she's dead in most of them! She's way pale! Alithea looks so cool in neon!! Elton, you just looked fab, TOTALLY.

Everyone looked fab. It was a great party!!!